PinYour relationship questions are welcome! Just write them in the Facebook comments below to be considered for next month’s column.

QUESTION: How can I manifest love in my life?

Wendy writes: “I have been single for years and I’m wondering if you can see whether a man will come into my life anytime soon.”

ANSWER: You can manifest love in your life by actively loving yourself — and staying optimistic!

Hi Wendy! When I ask about your love life the first thing I hear from your guides is to stay optimistic. They know how difficult it is to keep your heart open after being disappointed so many times. I see an image of you with your eyes closed, feeling like you don’t want to bother looking anymore, because the process of finding someone seems so laborious. The image of your eyes closed is also interesting because I get a sense that you haven’t been seeing the potential matches that are all around you. It’s always a choice to go through life with our eyes closed, and in a way, it’s less painful. It’s a protection strategy to keep you safe from the pain of rejection and disappointment.

What Your Spirit Guides Want You To Know

Your spirit guides want you to know that creating love in your life doesn’t have to be as difficult as it’s felt in the past. I’m hearing that the first step is to treat yourself to experiences you’d love to have. Take yourself out on a date. Do something you’d enjoy. Get in the habit of doing something once a week just for you. It doesn’t have to be expensive or take a lot of time. But when you are doing it, even if it’s just getting an ice cream cone, be really present for it. This is your time to love and honor yourself, to be kind to yourself.

Doing these things will create receptive energy, because you’ll be giving to yourself and receiving the gift of your own love. And then, when you feel ready, start taking baby steps to meet someone new. As much as it would be wonderful to meet our soul mate standing in line at Starbucks, it seldom happens that way. Small action steps are necessary. I can hear your guides saying it doesn’t really matter what action you decide to take — as long as it feels positive to you. You could sign up for a class in something you’re interested in learning to meet new people, or you could delve into the online dating realm. I sense you’ve tried that before and had a disappointing experience. Try again. Sometimes, having an online profile provides the universe with a window to provide your next partner. If you don’t like it, you can take your profile down and try something else. You can try multiple sites, and see which ones resonate.

I see a man coming into your life as a result of your actions. He’s serious, financially responsible and grounded. I feel like he’ll be drawn to you because you make him loosen up a bit. You’re fun to be with, and yet, I feel like he’ll admire your focus and dedication in the other areas of your life. It feels like a very compatible match. I see you sitting in a car together outside a movie theater and talking. So I get the sense that there’s a deep connection with lots of common interests. He’s a serious person but you’ll have fun together.

Just keep taking steps to bring a new relationship into your life. No matter how difficult it’s been in the past, know that things can be different moving forward.

QUESTION: Will I reunite with my ex-husband?

Kendra writes: “Hi Jessica, I’m wondering if my husband and I will ever reunite. His name is Charlie, and we were married for ten years. Two years ago, he asked for a divorce. He has a girlfriend, but we still talk occasionally.”

ANSWER: It’s unlikely, because your soul wants to move on.

Hi Kendra! When I look at the energy of your separation, I’m seeing that you drifted apart over a number of years before the divorce. When I ask spirit guides why you drifted apart, I get the message that you lived in different worlds. Your husband wasn’t really present with you. For the most part, you had to navigate through life’s challenges and lessons by yourself, and you felt alone.

I feel like it’s hard for you to let this relationship go because you have a lot of shared history with Charlie. He’s a friend, and I hear that you really want the comfort and security of “togetherness” back. But your guides are letting me know that even when you were together, you didn’t truly have the comfort and togetherness you are remembering and desiring now.

I feel like you’ve spent the last few years trying to figure out how to fix things. There’s such a sadness for you about what was lost, and yet your guides keep telling me that the relationship fell short in ways that were really important to you.

What Your Spirit Guides Want You To Know

Spirit guides sometimes use the movies I’ve seen to give me insight. In this case, they showed me a brief flash from “The Way We Were” with Barbara Streisand and Robert Redford. Their characters loved each other, but they were so different. He was so focused on his own path and couldn’t really relate to her depth. I get the sense from your guides that your ex-husband wouldn’t be able to walk with you to the place your life is leading, and even if you got back together, you would still feel like you were walking through life alone.

This doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you, and it doesn’t mean you failed. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the form of the relationship. Nurture yourself. Watch a favorite movie or read a favorite book, and allow your energy to start coming back to you. As you begin putting energy into yourself again, you’ll begin to feel lighter and more at peace. Your guides encourage you to forgive yourself for anything you judge yourself for. You haven’t done anything wrong.

As you love yourself by giving yourself the things you need (a day off or even a simple walk outdoors), new energy and growth will come into your life. When you let Charlie go with love, and stop trying to fix the relationship, you’ll begin to feel happier and more excited about life. When you give yourself the friendship, loyalty, and love you’ve always wanted from the outside, you will attract a partnership that embodies those qualities.

Thank you so much for writing in and reading. If you have a question for next month’s column, please let me know in the comments below :)