One of the most frequent messages I receive from spirit guides when doing a reading for someone on love and relationship is, “It’s safe for you to love.”

None of us want to be hurt. And yet every single person on earth has been hurt in a relationship. Maybe someone you loved broke up with you, withdrew their love, or died. The pain may have felt excruciating, and some part of you vowed never to let it happen again.

I made a conscious decision at 14 years old that I’d never be vulnerable again after my first boyfriend broke up with me. I remember looking at the moon in the late afternoon sky as I hardened my heart. I decided that rejection was more painful than not giving someone the opportunity to reject me, so I created a wall and a false personality to keep people out.

That instinct to protect yourself from pain is incredibly versatile. Your subconscious mind knows how to build a wall around your heart to stop you from feeling anything close to the despair you may have experienced. And after a while, it feels normal for it to be there. The clue that you have a wall to keep others out is found in your relationships. If you’re always finding yourself in relationships with people who can’t commit or hold themselves back from being vulnerable with you — it’s a mirror reflecting your fear of doing the same.

If you have a wall around your heart because you don’t want to be hurt, you will attract men or women into your life who also have barriers to emotional intimacy — and the result is that you end up hurting anyway.

Spirit guides want you to know that even though you may have been truly heartbroken at some point in your life, you kept on living. They know it wasn’t fun or comfortable, but you didn’t come here to be comfortable. You came here to experience all aspects of being alive, including being hurt sometimes.

And yet, getting hurt and being disappointed isn’t meant to be a permanent experience. There have been many days, weeks, and months in which you haven’t been grieving a loss. There have been many times in which you’ve felt okay, even happy.

What if you accepted being hurt as part of the path to love? If you can feel okay about taking that risk, diving into life’s ocean of joy and sorrow without holding back, you’ll attract someone into your life who is also ready to make that leap, and you’ll do it together.

It’s safe to love is because love is your nature, and can never be taken away from you. You ARE love.

It’s safe to love because it’s safe to be hurt. No matter how many times you feel rejected, alone and afraid, or cut off from love, your soul is eternal and can never be damaged or broken. The pain becomes part of your experience for a little while, and then it subsides to reveal a deeper, wilder, more authentic you — and nothing could be more precious and lovable than that.

About Jessica McKay

Jessica McKay is an intuitive counselor and the author of The Wisdom of a Psychic Cat ~ 15 Lessons on Happiness for Humans. She is co-author of When Heaven Touches Earth by James Van Praagh and others. Jessica offers private readings and energy healing sessions at

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