We sometimes forget that when we were children we actually knew what we wanted. We knew when a person, place, or thing resonated with us and when it didn’t. If something looked and felt good to us, we moved towards it. If something felt bad, we wanted out. It was all automatic; no thinking was necessary.
As we grew up, we were taught (with the best of intentions) to deny those impulses. We were taught to be polite. Even if our insides were screaming, “I don’t want any part of this!” we learned to stay so we wouldn’t hurt people’s feelings. We learned to care about what others would think of us, and to put their needs before our own. Do you recognize this from your own life?
The “Magical Child” is the part of you that still has an innate wisdom about what he or she wants and needs. It is the part of you that is still quietly whispering behind the veil of adulthood — a playful, innocent, and excited energy that moves enthusiastically toward new possibilities. He or she believes in magic, miracles, and dreams. The Magical Child relies on intuition rather than knowledge, and can be an ally in your quest for a life that truly fulfills you.
This child self is not jaded, cynical, or judgmental. It still exists just behind another part of you that learned to be skeptical, pessimistic, and wary of the unknown in order to protect you from the pain of living.
Creating the bond with the magical child…
To create a bond with the magical child within is to nurture a relationship between your rational adult self and your feeling child self. Your feeling child self is the one who whispers up from the depths, “I don’t like this. This doesn’t feel good.” It doesn’t matter whether your child is referring to a person, a place, a food, or how she’s being treated. What’s important is that the adult self hears that message and takes action immediately, without questioning the instinct that led to the bad feeling.
Have you ever had the experience in which you knew you shouldn’t go somewhere or do something, and it defied logic? There was no reason not to go there or do that thing, but something (someone) inside you objected. Did you listen, or did you ignore that voice? What happened?
It might take practice to get to the point where you can listen to the messages coming from within and act on them. It takes practice in relationships of all kinds, watching what happens every time you say yes when you really want to say no.
Maybe your Magical Child has been trying to tell you something for a long time now.
Perhaps you are “stuck” in a job you dislike, but the rational adult self in your mind has been telling you stories about the lack of other opportunities out there. Or maybe you are in a relationship or a marriage that has not felt good for a long time, but you worry that bad things will happen if you acknowledge the truth and move toward change. Remember that you don’t necessarily need to quit a job or leave a marriage in order to make life better for yourself.
The rational adult self isn’t bad or wrong — it’s just trying to protect you by limiting your belief in other possibilities. The Magical Child and this “Rational Protector” can make a great team when they work together. All that’s needed, at first, is to acknowledge the reality of your true feelings, so you can create a new outcome. The Magical Child will always tell you the truth about how he/she really feels.
Talk to your child self.
Ask her how she really feels about your life. If she tells you she doesn’t like something, ask her what would make it more tolerable while your adult self figures out what other solutions exist.
No matter what the situation, there is always a way to let the beautiful bird of your spirit out of its restrictive cage. Let the Magical Child be your guide. He or she will tell you the truth so that your adult self can move toward the jobs that fulfill and reward you, to the friends that accept and encourage you. The Magical Child will take you on adventures of the spirit… if you have the courage to follow his or her guidance.