If you’ve just been through (or are currently going through) a breakup, it’s very important to give yourself time to grieve. Whenever you experience a loss in your life, you’re going to grieve.

Grieving is a natural process that helps you accept the new reality you’re living in — in this case, the reality of life without a particular relationship. Let yourself take all the time you need to fully let go, feel your feelings, and be upset.

Heal Your Grief Faster

All that said, here’s an awareness that will make your grief pass quicker: The biggest pain you’re experiencing comes not from the loss of a particular relationship, but from the story you’re telling yourself about the loss of the relationship.

For example, you might be telling yourself the story that you’ll never find love again. You might be telling yourself that you’ll be alone for the rest of your life. Or maybe you think that because someone left you, you’re not good enough and the end of the relationship proves it.

The Story You’re Telling Yourself

These stories create more suffering than the actual loss you’re going through. While loss by itself can be devastating, stories about your worth and your future just frighten you. They create suffering because first of all, they are lies.

The story that your love life is over just isn’t true. There’s simply no way to know that you’ll never experience the love you want, no matter how many times you’ve been disappointed and no matter how old you are. Spiritual teacher and author Louise Hay started dating a new boyfriend at age 88!

The story that you’re not good enough begins in childhood and is never true. You are always good enough, and the loss of a relationship can never define your worth. Find the story behind the emotion. How is your mind attempting to define the breakup? Write your stories and fears down. Get them out of your head and on paper. See how the story has been hurting you. We tell ourselves such sad, tragic stories — and none of them are true.

Get Your Energy Back

Humans naturally create energetic cords with other people. Energy flows through these cords in a relationship. Sometimes you’re giving energy, and sometimes you’re receiving it.

In a relationship, there’s an unconscious tendency to leave your energy behind — or in your partner’s space. This is a visualization technique that helps you call your energy back to you, so you can draw upon your life-force to heal from the breakup.

Your Personal Power

You are a powerful creator, and anything you visualize or imagine has power. Close your eyes and visualize a golden sun or ball of light hovering over your head. Imagine that there’s a magnet inside that sun with your name on it, and this magnet is going to call back all of your energy from wherever you may have left it in the universe. As the golden sun fills up with your energy, see it getting bigger and bigger.

First, call back any of your energy that might be sitting in your ex-partner’s space. Call back all the energy that belongs to you. Call back all the energy you expended trying to make that relationship work.

Call back the energy you expended trying to be enough for other people. Call back all the energy you’ve ever spent searching for love. When that sun is so big and full that it wants to pop, imagine reaching up and pulling that golden sundown, cracking it over the top of your head just like a big egg. Let that warm, honey golden energy fill you up. Let it fill in your chakras, aura, and the cells of your body.

I hope this technique serves you. Please share this with anyone you know who’s going through a breakup.