money mindset set point (2)The last few weeks I have been working on getting healthy and have recently lost some excess weight. Going through this process has reacquainted me with the idea of a metabolism set point as right now I am in a three week period of adjusting my body to my new weight so my metabolism will not subconsciously try to move my weight back up to the point I was at when I started the program.

I am shifting my metabolism set point to the new level I am at now.

And this has me thinking about other subconscious set points, especially ones around money.

Money is about energy and relationships.


My own money story begins in a blue-collar middle-class family definitely of the ‘money doesn’t grow on trees’ variety. While there was always food on the table and a roof over our heads, there was also the sense that we were just one step ahead of the monthly bills. Owning a home rather than renting an apartment just wasn’t in the cards for us.

Fortunately both my sister and I were able to get through high school and college on full scholarships and into good careers that afforded each of us different opportunities.

It seems all was well, doesn’t it? And I would have agreed until I encountered my first money set point when I was offered a full-time job during my senior year of college.

The job I was offered was an entry level position in a new field at a starting salary that was a little bit more than my father was making in his last year before retirement at his current job.


While I was excited about the opportunity and the work I felt sad and guilty that I was earning more out of the gate than my father who had worked three jobs for many years just to keep us afloat.

No matter how many times he asked me what my salary was going to be I was never able to tell him the truth. It turns out I was ashamed of my salary and I was way out of my money set point comfort zone.


Money is energy just like everything else in the universe but it is the relationship to that energy that makes the difference as to whether you have an easy connection or not.

The relationship to money is inexorably linked to the relationship you have to yourself, what you believe you deserve and the value you place upon yourself.

For me, my relationship to money reflected my tendency to over-give – in all areas of my life.

So, while I was earning more and more money, I was spending it just as fast. Along the way one of my bosses once suggested the company should send me to economically depressed countries just so I could infuse their coffers with the cash I was seemingly eager to unload.

Thinking back it was staggering the amount of ‘stuff’ I accumulated; and not just for me. I was known for my over-the-top generosity to friends and family alike.

What I didn’t realize then was that I was subconsciously keeping my money at a level comfortable to me – keeping it at my money set point. So the more I earned the more I spent. Clearly holding on to money and letting it grow wasn’t part of my money story.


My story gets really interesting around the time the universe stepped in and brought balance back into my relationship with money.

The universe always seeks balance even when you least expect it.

It wasn’t a gentle push in the right direction; it was a big dropping of the universal shoe – the loss of a business and a resultant bankruptcy.

It literally brought me to a full stop and, for the first time, I was forced to consider how I had gotten to the point of starting over from scratch.

And, for the first time, I began to work with my subconscious beliefs about money, my worth, my value and the patterns of over-giving that had been so ingrained in me since childhood.

I learned that by over-giving I was letting the universe know that I didn’t value my energy and my time.

I learned that I was afraid of having more money than family and friends – afraid that those relationships would change or even be lost to me.

I learned that I had never really taken the time to respect my money by keeping track of it and treating as an honored presence in my life.

I learned that I felt disloyal to my childhood family when I stepped outside the daily financial struggle.

I learned I wasn’t in charge of my money story – my subconscious was.


If you are struggling finding the pathway to financial independence or even just financial ease, then I’m guessing you are stuck (like I was) at your money set point.

But how do you figure out what that set point is?

What I learned is that a money set point isn’t so much an actual figure (although it can be) but rather a way of handling your relationship with money.

So here are some questions to ask in order to find out what your money set point is:

  1. What beliefs did your parents hold about money? Write down as many as you can remember because they are still very much inside you.
  2. How easy is it for you to accept gifts of time and money from friends and colleagues? If you are always saying ‘no, that’s not necessary,’ then you don’t know how to receive. And to bring in and grow money you have to be a good receiver.
  3. Do you keep a budget and track your income, expenses and savings? If not then you are really telling the universe not to give you money because you don’t want to manage it. You are saying it is not important enough to warrant your time.
  4. If you have your own business, how easy is it for you to set your fees and to communicate those fees to potential clients? This is a self-value issue – clients are willing to pay what you hold as the true value of your services. It is part of your vibration so if you don’t believe you are worth what you want to charge, you won’t attract clients willing to pay your fees.
  5. How important is it for you to ‘fit in?’ How important are the opinions of others? If you started to earn a lot of money would you be stepping outside your social strata? And, if so, is that something you are comfortable with?
  6. What are your beliefs about wealthy people? Do you have any prejudices; any negative perceptions? If so, you are basically telling the universe ‘I do not want to be like them,’ and the universe will make sure you get your wish.

resetting your money mindsetCREATING THE SHIFT

Once you journal around the questions posed above, you are ready to make some changes.

As with any real and lasting change, action is required!

In this case action takes the form of new beliefs, new perceptions and new behaviors that communicate a new relationship with self and money to the universe.

Here are a few steps you can take over the next month to create a positive shift in your money set point:

  1. Take each of the beliefs about money you jotted down and create a new belief to reflect your new money-wise persona. So, for example, instead of repeating my family’s mantra of ‘money doesn’t grow on trees’ I now say, ‘money grows for me just like the leaves on a healthy, vibrant tree.’
  2. Create new statements (affirmations) about what it means to be a wealthy person (if wealth is your goal). An example might be ‘My abundant financial wealth is a blessing to me and all others.’
  3. Stop comparing your unique self to others – originality is key to success in all areas. Take the time to discover what it is you do well and then value yourself accordingly.
  4. Make a budget and work with it on a daily basis. If you can’t look at your money and sort it out, the universe isn’t going to send you bunches more.
  5. Practice becoming a good receiver. Cultivate a daily gratitude practice – be thankful for everything you have in your life. In that way you send that grateful energy out into the universe along with your readiness for more.

What do you believe is possible?

Do you truly believe in your own power as a co-creative force in the universe?

If so then you have within you the power to shift your entire experience of money and create a new, more abundant and satisfying money flow.

About Cathleen O'Connor

Cathleen O’Connor PhD is a metaphysical teacher, best-selling author, speaker and intuitive coach who loves helping people harness the power of the mind and heart to co-create miracles in all areas of life. She has been quoted in the Huffington Post as a dream interpretation expert and featured as a work-life balance expert in various publications. Connect with Cathleen at and grab your free e-book: The Secret to Saying ‘No.’

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