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We are all artist trying to uncover/recover the deepest, most radiant parts of ourselves. Life is always pushing and pulling us closer to and from our identity. Finding the authentic self is an endless search… it is ever growing and evolving. We cling to what we think we know, in the hopes of feeling some sort of stability, but for most us we never truly let ourselves be, in this moment, with who we are.
As life begins to weave layers, and veils we find who we are is more the accumulation of experiences, and encounters, rather than the authentic light that pulses deep within. These become the mask that we wear, the roles that we play. In truth we are all great players in the dance of the Universe.
1. Honor Who You Are, Where You Are
This may be the most difficult affirmation you will ever make. To really honor yourself is something that takes courage, and bravery beyond comparison. It is a delicate balance of trusting your feelings, believing in your ideas, and not letting the “truths” of others swaying you in a direction that doesn’t quit fit with your spirit.
Honoring who you are doesn’t mean making excuses for your shortcomings. It means seeing, and feeling what is right for you, in this moment now. When you sit down and make any decision it should strike a positive chord deep within you. It should feel right!
➼ What turns you on?
➼ What makes you feel alive?
➼ What makes you feel infinite, expansive, and whole?
➼ What makes you feel like you are getting closer to something?
Pinpoint where you are in each situation you are in. Navigate your life with a sense of awareness, being conscious of your thoughts and feelings as you move through. We all play different roles; have different identities… each one being unique to the situation we are in.
These identities are just facets of the whole self. You are multidimensional. The goal is not to shed the masks, or the facets. The goal rather is to become fluid moving in and out of each place.
Pressure and intensity of our responsibilities, etc, make us hyper focus on one facet, and at the same time forget about another facet. You are not the facets of your personality; you are the core of the diamond, the light that burns within the lantern. Let yourself shine through in all situations.
When we talk about the true self… we are talking about the fire that is within. We are talking about what fuels that beautiful, divine light.
2. Everyone Is A Guest In Your Life
One of the struggles I find with living “authentically” is the flack we get from others. Especially those we love and respect. People want us to be who we are to them, not who we are to ourselves. Sadly, who you want to be, or who you really are, might not be whom your parents, your partner, or your co-workers see you as.
People are constantly creating molds for us to fit in, and when we blur those lines, or step out of them all together they become uncomfortable. The heart of the matter is that they are uncomfortable with their own identity. They need boxes and labels to put on things to make them feel safe.
This isn’t your burden to bear. Blow up the box! Dance to the beat of your own drum. Know that if it isn’t feeding you, then you do not need to be responsible for it. You have no commitment to keep the people around you comfortable, if it keeps your own light dim. If someone really loves you, respects you, and wants what’s best for you… they will honor you.
You may need to remind these people that they are guests in your life. There is no bond, not one… that requires you to die down your feelings to keep the peace for someone else. Friends and family should be apart of your little world because they bring light, color and movement to it.
Just remember that your life, your beautiful little life… is a world. A world that is made of your dreams, your desires and your feelings. It is your inner kingdom. If you let other people rule, you will quickly find that nothing feels good, nothing feels like home. If someone cannot accept your dream… then let them dream on somewhere else.
3. Accumulate Experiences, Learn From Challenges
You will come to a place in your life, over and over again, where you have to let go of an old facet of who you are. This is part of the graceful flow of age. It is part of our spiritual evolution. No one can stay the same forever.
This is a hurdle most of us have to overcome. Especially with the people whom we live and associate with. People see us in the identity that most applies to them. You will always be your father’s little girl, or your best friend’s wingman, or whatever. But what happens when you outgrow this?
People become frustrated, they become uncomfortable. Everything they understood about you no longer makes sense. There is nothing relative for them to hold on to. In turn you become insecure about who you are… your growth. You think, gosh, am I different? Is there something wrong with me? Am I depressed? Am I crazy?
No baby, you are growing! Spread your wings and fly. Don’t let the weight of who you were, lock you into who you want to become. Life is a dance of our intrinsic nature, juxtaposed with your current circumstance. See it in living color, don’t limit its growth, or its beauty.
Accumulate your experiences. Let them refine the light within you. These are the things that take you closer to who you are. Sometimes you will think you have it all figured out, and suddenly the whole thing will topple over. Thank the Universe, and move on to the next thing!
Live fluidly, not chronically. You can hold onto experiences, but treasure them for they remind you where you came from, and know that they are little breadcrumbs on the path to where you are going.
4. Be Outrageously Brave
The tug of war we play with ourselves, and what “everyone else” thinks is tiring. So many choices in a person’s life are based on what someone else wants, feels, thinks or pushes for. But that isn’t necessary. You don’t have to let your dance be defined by the person dancing next to you!
I love to wear flowy, witchy things. In fact… my soul might be made of chiffon, velvet, and a little black lace. So needless to say… when I am really dressed in my spirit I stand out. A little dark gypsy boy roaming the streets.
Most people just let it be. Some people love it. Some people hate it. Some people find it bizarre. Others are offended. Ahh… to stand out… is a blessing and a curse. The funny thing is… I never really pay that much attention, nor do I understand why people get so caught up in how others dress.
I said to my best friend once… I don’t think the way I dress is that crazy. She responded with… you’re use to yourself! What a beautiful response that was! I still don’t think I dress that “crazy”. I just try not to adhere to what everyone else thinks is “normal”… whatever that means!
The point is don’t be afraid to standout. Be outrageous. Talk about crystal healing at your business meeting if you want. Wear sequins to the grocery store. Quote the I Ching on Facebook. Or whatever it might be.
If you are outrageously brave… you will crash through the stagnant views. You will change minds. And you will grow. Oh, how you will grow. Be a flower in the crack on the sidewalk.
When something feels a little dangerous, and makes you a little vulnerable it’s probably a good thing. It reminds you to be present. It reminds you to be intent. It affords you the opportunity to see life in a different color, from a different angle.
Be the you that comes out when no one is looking. Life is much more exciting when you do what your afraid of (within reason)!
5. Find Your Balance
Okay, so sometimes you might not want to standout. Sometimes you might not want to solider on and fight the masses. That’s oaky too. Find your balance. Today might be your fringe, and chiffon shawl day, and tomorrow might be sweats and a t-shirt day. You are still living out your spirit…. As long as it is intentional.
The best approach is to experience things, and then let them digest. Do that with every aspect of your life. Learn about meditation, read about it, do it for a while. Then take a break, reflect, and let it settle into you bones. Come back to it and see how different it feels.
Too often we go into things full throttle. At first with good intentions, its what you feel, what you want, what feeds you. Then you do it just to keep up the act because yet again… what if someone else finds out that you aren’t really into yoga anymore, or you just hate listening to the album you went on and on about for weeks!
Do you know when to take a rest?
Do you know when to push forward?
Hell yeah! Celebrate every moment of everyday. And pat yourself on the back when you do something that you’ve always wanted to do, but were afraid of. Those are your small victories. One small step toward that sweet spot inside your spirit.
Every moment can be a celebration. When you honor yourself, you are celebrating your infinity, and your divinity.
➼ What have you done to celebrate your spirit?
➼ How often do you congratulate yourself?
➼ When is it okay to celebrate?
Take it all in. Take these words into your spirit, digest them. See what they turn into. See what flowers bloom from these seeds. Do what feels good to you, leave the rest right here until later. Never forget… this is a process. It doesn’t have to happen all at once.
And as soon as you think you’ve got the beat down, the song is going to change!
Drop me a comment below. I’d love to hear about how you find ways to honor your spirit!