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You know that feeling of self-confidence. It is that feeling of being comfortable in your own skin. But self-confidence is more than just a good feeling to have.
Self-confidence is key to your success both at work and at home.
Trust Me, I’ve Been There…
When I was younger and just starting out in my corporate career I was paralyzed with fear when I had to get up and speak in front of a group. It didn’t matter if I knew my subject matter inside out; my palms still got sweaty, my throat started to close up and pushing out words seemed an impossible task.
At one point it got so bad that I expended all sorts of energy trying to avoid any situation where I would have to get up in front of a group and present – a bit of a killer if you want to climb the corporate ladder! LOL
People who know me today can’t believe I was ever that person. Today I love public speaking – whether my audience is a few or thousands. When I overcame my fear of speaking in front of a group I overcame something so much greater – I healed my fear of being visible and stepped into my own skin in a way I had never done before.
And, when you are truly comfortable in your own skin, you radiate a different kind of energy – and it is an energy that magnetizes you with success and abundance.
Now Let’s Start With You
So think for a moment about where you are not self-confident in your life. It is often a situational problem rather than an overall one. So you might be self-confident in the kitchen, whipping up amazingly creative meals for friends and family and not self-confident driving the car, hands gripping the steering wheel while you chant a mantra to the angels for protection and help.
You might be a dynamo of self-confidence at work, reeling decisions off left and right and a bundle of indecision at home unable to use the power of your own voice to resolve conflicts and heal relationships.
Self-confidence has it seeds in childhood of course but even as a new being in the world you most likely displayed self-confidence in some areas and less in others. You might have been that rough and tumble adventurous child or you might have been tentative and afraid to fall as you gingerly tried out what your body was capable of.
If you were lucky you had a parent who encouraged you to try new things and allowed you to fail yet keep moving forward. Or you might have had an overprotective parent who was so tense that you would hurt yourself that you still carry that fear inside you when you go to step out in the world and try something new.
It’s funny that what might have been a physical challenge in childhood often becomes a mental and emotional challenge in adulthood.
Here are some ways the cracks in your self-confidence might manifest:
- You have long dreamt of a new career but worry over being able to support yourself keeps you in a job you have no heart or energy for anymore.
- You are feeling lonely but are afraid to put yourself out there in a new romantic relationship because you fear being hurt or that you are not attractive enough.
- You have a problem making decisions because you worry you don’t have enough information to make sure the decision is RIGHT.
- You hold back your true opinion because you worry about what other people might think.
I know you can add to this list and write some of your own. Everyone, you included, has self-confidence gaps.
And each one is an opportunity to learn more about yourself and to heal – how wonderful!
3 Steps To Boost Your Self-Confidence
So here are three (3) steps you can take to boost your self-confidence at work and at home. Try them out and see what happens.
Humorist Mark Twain is quoted as having said “A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”
And that is Step 1 of my 3 step self-confidence booster!
1) Try approving of yourself
Not just of what you are accomplished in doing but of who you are. Who you are is a work in progress so just for today allow yourself to really be that. Just for today allow yourself to be who you are and hold off on the self-criticism and comparison with others. Just for today. You can do anything just for one day – absolutely anything.
2) Realize no one is thinking about you very much at all.
Self-confident people know that ninety-nine percent of people are totally wrapped up in their own lives, their own problems and their own issues. So put other people’s opinions where they belong – with them. They are about them anyway not you. So you might as well go about your day being completely unconcerned about what others are thinking about you. What would your day look like if you did that? Stay out of other people’s heads and get back into your own life. As you do so, your self-confidence will start to blossom.
3) Make a decision, any decision.
Waiting until you feel confident to try something or make a change means you’ll be waiting forever. It is a misunderstanding that you have to wait for your feelings to catch up to what you want to do before you act. The truth is that action moves feelings when you are trying to make a change or try something new. So if you are torn trying to decide what to do, just do something – take a small action towards your desired outcome – just one small action. And, before you know it, you’ll will have built self-confidence one small action at a time.
These three steps are of the rinse and repeat variety so you want to work with these each and every day.
You may notice that my self-confidence boosters aren’t tied to any particular situation. As you work these three steps you’ll start to feel greater self-confidence in all areas of your life.
May you stand proud and comfortable in your own skin.
Wow – you are magnificent!!