With Valentine’s Day just a few days ago and Pisces season on our doorstep, what better time to think about what it means to love a highly sensitive soul…
An Empath is a person who is highly sensitive to the energy, moods, and emotions of the people and environments around them. They “soak” up these energies, just like a sponge soaks up water. This gift makes them highly attuned to the feelings of others, resulting in a beautifully complex individual that is empathic, understanding, honest, and vulnerable.
So if you’re lucky enough to be in love with one of these special souls, the question is – how can you love them back?
I’ll give you a hint: it’s not really all that different from how you would love anyone! With the exception of a few special circumstances and situations for you to be aware of.
Read on for 10 tips on loving an Empath (the right way), and brownie points if you can choose to love yourself in the same ways too.
1.Give Them Space
Here’s the thing, Empaths are like sponges… always absorbing the energy of everything around them! It’s exhausting, it’s emotionally and physically taxing, and sometimes it can add up to be too much. (especially after a large group gathering!)
Empaths need time and space alone in order to recharge their mental and emotional banks.
Learn not to take this need for separation personally, it has nothing to do with them not loving you. In fact, it would be awesome if YOU could encourage your Empath to take some space to themself after a big event or a busy week.
Remember that Empaths gets overstimulated much easier than the average person, so they need extra time to quiet their mind and refuel.
Suggest that they take time to unwind with an extra-long bath, walk, meditation, or whatever they typically enjoy doing for self-care.
2. Support Them
The worst thing a partner can do in any relationship is be-little, make-fun of, or under-mind the qualities and characteristics of their partner. But when you’re dating an empath this can be especially damaging.
Phrases like “Oh stop being so sensitive”, or “you’re so dramatic”, or even “why can’t you just get over it?” are not things you should say lightly.
If you’re going to commit to loving an Empath, you need to accept their sensitivity right now… do not ever try to change it. Understand that YES, they are sensitive and they do NOT easily “get over” things.
Empaths feel things deeper than you do – this is both their gift and their curse to carry through the world. Do not make it more difficult for them by giving them snide remarks or casting your insecurities upon them.
Lift them up. Celebrate their gift. Encourage them to use it. And honor them as the deep feeling, beautiful creatures that they are.
3. Be Honest
Just because your Empath is extra-sensitive does not mean that you should hide things from them or “sugar-coat it” in an attempt to spare their feelings. I repeat – DO NOT do that!
No matter how heavy or difficult the truth might be – always, always be 100% honest and forthright with your Empath. Because any form of dishonesty, or blatant lying, is like a dagger in their heart. It will result in a feeling of deep betrayal that will be next to impossible to recover from (yes even if it was a “little white lie”).
It takes a lot for an Empath to let down their guard, be vulnerable, and open up to people… and one small act of deceit can shut them down and build walls around their heart that you may never be able to rectify.
4. Communicate Your Feelings
Empaths can sense the feelings and moods of those around them… but they can’t read minds!
So if you’re upset, sad, or unhappy about something – don’t assume they “just know” why! Communication is key in every relationship, and it’s no different when you’re dating an Empath.
Passive-aggressive statements, cold-shoulders, and icy-stares will never work well with an Empath. Learn how to communicate your feelings in a healthy, non-judgmental, and non-confrontational way.
5. Remember To Give Back
Empaths are natural givers. Because they feel the emotions of others so deeply, they are inclined to give their support and do whatever they can to “help” make a person feel better.
Not only does this drain their energy tank, but it can also make them feel extremely undervalued and even unloved if it goes on too long without energy reimbursement of some kind. So always remember to give to your Empath as much as you take.
If they listen to you intently as you vent about your long and stressful day at work – make sure to repay the favor in some way. Offer to give them a foot or back massage, cook them dinner, or even letting them select the movie you watch on Netflix that night.
6. Expect Moments of Great Intensity
Empaths feel everything more deeply – yes even love and desire! So your Empath might be slow to let down their guard and allow you into their heart… at first. But once they finally do, the flood gates will be opened – so expect them to move fast and fierce!
The level of love they can feel (and express) for you can be overwhelming, or even intimidating, at times. This level of intensity is not for everyone, so be honest with yourself on whether or not you can handle it.
If it ever feels like too much for you, remember to communicate! Having an open, honest, raw, and vulnerable conversation about how their expressive intensity makes you feel will be good for both you and them.
Empaths take on the feelings and emotions of everyone around them, which understandably can be a little overwhelming and confusing! They can feel desperately sad, ridiculously happy, and seriously stressed… all for no apparent reason.
Allow them to talk it through with you – and remember, in a no-judgment zone! The truth is, they honestly might have no clue why they’re feeling sad. But it will always help to have a loving ear to talk it through with.
Empaths need a shoulder to cry on, and a friend to lean on, just as much as everyone else does. Be that person for them and your bond will grow ever-stronger.
8. Encourage Expression
This is building off the last point, and still have to do with you listening. But it’s an important one, so it’s worth talking about twice. Empaths can’t just “let it go”, so they may feel the need to talk, and talk, and talk about the same work situation, or horrifying event.
This is just the way that they offload all these emotions and energies that they’ve absorbed. So please, don’t try to stifle them or ask them to get over it.
Doing that will result in your Empath pulling further away from you, on an emotional level. They won’t feel like you provide a safe place for them to express themselves, so they will slowly stop opening up to you. Which of course, will not build a very healthy relationship.
9. Allow Them To Stay Home
The only one who knows if your Empath can handle another night out, or going to another restaurant for dinner, is THEM!
So let them decide if they want to go do something, or opt to stay home instead. And come to terms with the reality that your Empath will not always be up for all the same adventures that you are.
Remember they need more alone time to recharge their energy tank than you do. So if you’re going out with friends, and your Empath chooses to stay home, don’t turn it into a fight. Just realize that they may not have the energy for it.
10. And Finally… LOVE THEM FIERCELY.
Empaths deserve to be loved in the same intense and fierce passion that they offer love out to you.
Learn their love language. Learn what makes them feel special… what makes them smile, what makes them laugh, what makes them cry happy tears…
The root of all healthy relationships is two people that are committed to loving each other the best way they can. So make the conscious decision to always be that person for your Empath, and I guarantee you, your relationship will flourish.
The truth is that loving an Empath can be the most rewarding relationship of your life! Comment YES below if you agree!