Welcome to this week’s Ask Jessica Love Column! Today we’re talking about “Finding Soulmates.”

Atenna writes: “My question is around finding a soulmate/partner. It’s been over 3 years since my last relationship and I feel that I’m frustrated and questioning whether I should just settle for what’s in front of me or wait for the man that lights my fire. Is there really someone out there that is meant for me or am I on a hopeless quest for real love?”

Hi Atenna!

It’s important to strike a balance between waiting for the right person and being open to what’s in front of you. My sense is that you have a clear picture in your mind of what you’ll feel in your perfect relationship. The problem is, no relationship is perfect. The concept of soulmates and twin flames have limited us, in that we now believe that there’s someone out there who is “meant” for us. This is a really limiting idea, because in reality, everyone in your life is a soulmate. A soulmate is a being that you learn from and who pushes you to grow. And that’s really everyone you know.

It’s a very powerful energetic act to be willing to surrender control over the details of what you want. Have you ever gone shopping for clothes with a friend who picks out an outfit for you that you’d never pick out for yourself or even notice on the rack, and it looks amazing on you? Let the universe be that friend. Let the universe pick your partner. Trust the universe to know who you’ll resonate with, and take action. Don’t sit back and wait. Put yourself out there, meet new people, and be open to who shows up.

You don’t have to settle. You don’t have to settle for men you have nothing in common with and who are not compatible with you. But you do need to be willing to throw away your assumptions about who he should be.


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