numerology holidays seasonEven if you adore the holidays – if you’re human – there are most likely some triggers and stressors that come up during this time of family gatherings. And most of us grappled with leveling whatever our own skewed expectations might be about the togetherness of the season.

There are lots of ways to re-situate our responses to those challenging people or situations in our lives that are often intensified during November and December and into January.

You can use this great tool – illustrated in this Saturday Night Live skit – that I affectionately call “The Adele Remedy.”

Or (and/or!) we can tap into the art and science of Numerology in order to see other ways to shift how we engage in the season.

How Numerology Ties Into The Holiday Season

There are many ways to use Numerology to make this the most satisfying and truly joyful experience, yet here is one idea that can potentially turn the holiday season into a fond memory rather than fodder for a year of therapy.

As Wayne Dyer said: “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

Let’s see if we can find a way to use the Life Path number to understand our interactions with others – whether it’s family, friends, colleagues, or even children. Know that this is a very basic tool and yet if we make a “game” out of it in some way, it can make things even lighter and – in many ways – more fun and emotionally satisfying.

First, if you haven’t yet, click here to calculate the Life Path number for yourself and the person you have in mind. This could be a family member, partner, colleague, or anyone else. You just need their birthday.

ODE TO JOY – OR, ODE TO ACCEPTANCE – BY LIFE PATH NUMBER

After you have the Life Path number for the person you need to engage with, scroll down to see how best to interact with them during this time. You can also scroll down to your life path to see how this season affects you and how you can ask others to treat you.

When you’re engaging with a 1 Life Path:

They need to take the lead. And if they want to lead, they must have followers. They’re here to use cultivate their individuality, independence, and they seek to be #1.

A key to getting along: Know that they need to be in charge. Let them. Know that they need cheerleaders. Cheerlead.

Some possible issues: Is this person a leader or have they folded in their life? Are they active and engaged in creative and/or business pursuits or are they taking a secondary role? If they’re not actively expressing healthy independence and achievement, they’ll struggle with negativity, cynicism, and scathing judgment.

If you want to understand them: Allow them to be the center of attention when it feels appropriate. Encourage them to act upon creative ideas if that’s something they’re not actively pursuing. They’re meant to follow their unique voice. Appreciate where they have come from, which is usually “The School of Hard Knocks.”

If this person triggers you: Detach yourself by allowing them to be in charge. If they’re challenged with their Life Path purpose and instead display as negative or narcissistic, remind yourself that they’re doing their best – even if it drives you crazy.

When you’re engaging with a 2 Life Path:

They’re conflict avoidant. They’re mediators and just want to give and receive unconditional love – and they’re extraordinarily emotionally sensitive.

A key to getting along: Know that they often live and breathe family and that they thrive when the whole group is thriving. Understand that they’re intuitive and very emotionally sensitive. These folks need acknowledgement and affirmation.

Some possible issues: If they’re not being acknowledged for what they do, they can emotionally withdraw and be resentful. If they’re hurt, they can become childish, combative, and downright impossible. They can over-give and then wonder when it’s their turn.

If you want to understand them: Allow them to “mother” you. Encourage them to be involved with group activities that give a sense of purpose. Appreciate the way in which they take care of the details and want everyone to be happy. Give them extra kudos for everything they do.

If this person triggers you: Detach yourself by giving them approval for the things they do. Did they bring the green-bean casserole? Make a special point to compliment them. If they’re challenged with their Life Path purpose and instead display as self-absorbed and childish, remind yourself that they’re doing their best – even if it drives you crazy.

When you’re engaging with a 3 Life Path:

They’re creative powerhouses. They’ve got a great intellect and thrive on good communication. They’re deeply emotional and are ultimately joyful and giving people. They’re natural entertainers, performers, and can be the Host or Hostess with the Mostess.

A key to getting along: Know that they need to have their creative outlets – through writing, teaching, performing, music – just as a few examples. Know that they’re extremely emotionally sensitive and need to be “heard” from the inside out – they usually like to dig deep into the emotional components of relationships.

Some possible issues: If they’re not using their creativity and expressing emotions consistently, they can experience depression. They can be scattered and have trouble following through with things. Also know that they are debilitated by criticism. If they’re out of balance, they’ll be unable to connect to you on an emotional level usually by defaulting to being critical, moody, self-absorbed and/or emotionally unavailable.

If you want to understand them: Listen to them and they’ll most often listen to you. They love great conversation, love to know who you really are, and love to support you in whatever you do. Encourage their creativity and ask them what they honestly think about things – they can have a debilitating sense of self-doubt. They need to feel safe and heard before they can expose their true feelings.

If this person triggers you: Detach yourself by allowing them their emotional self-indulgence. If they’re challenged with their Life Path purpose and instead display as depressive or full of self-doubt, remind yourself that they’re doing their best – even if it drives you crazy.

When you’re engaging with a 4 Life Path:

christmas numerologyThey’re most often the pillar of the family. They’re solid, steady, and crave security and are hard workers. They can be (or want to be) a dominant presence in the family.

A key to getting along: Understand that they’re the “slow and steady” person. Allow them to process slowly and take the steps it takes to get there. Ask them about the newest book they’re reading – they love sharing their knowledge.

Some possible issues: They can be workaholics. They can sometimes be stubborn, blunt, and opinionated – and can be a bulldozer when it comes to doing what they feel needs to be done. If they’re out of balance, they can be myopic and bossy have an inability to understand anyone’s point of view other than their own.

If you want to understand them: Allow them to give you unsolicited advice – also understand that they see the world in a very “literal” way. Appreciate the ways they’re reliable and knowledgeable.

If this person triggers you: Detach yourself by allowing them to step on their soapbox. If they’re challenged with their Life Path purpose and instead display as inflexible and argumentative, remind yourself that they’re doing their best – even if it drives you crazy.

When you’re engaging with a 5 Life Path:

They can be the life of the party. They’re freedom loving, adventurous, and an agent of change. They often live life “without a filter.” They’re always up for fun and something funny.

A key to getting along: Know that they need their space. “Don’t fence me in!” is their mantra. Appreciate their quirky humor. Enjoy their unpredictability. Understand that they’re super-emotional. If it’s appropriate, humor their propensity to be a Drama Queen or King.

Some possible issues: If they’re feeling hemmed in or lacking direction, they can be quite volatile. During the holidays where excess is already part of the mix, addictions can be an issue – they can struggle with excess and with a tendency to escape through substance use. They can lack focus, commitment, and follow-through. Often the 5 Life Path can grapple with fear and retraction from social life.

A key to getting along: Allow them to have their space. Appreciate the ways in which they’re so fun and full of life. Know that they might let a few things fall through the cracks during the holidays – don’t take it personally.

If this person triggers you: Detach yourself by allowing them to take center stage or alternately, to not engage in everything that you think that they should. If they’re challenged with their Life Path purpose and instead display as volatile and excessive, remind yourself that they’re doing their best – even if it drives you crazy.

When you’re engaging with a 6 Life Path:

They’re the “love and marriage, horse and carriage” kind-of person, usually. They’re all about home and family in some way – even if that family is non-traditional or work-related. They’re super-responsible and can be quite visionary.

A key to getting along: Know that family, friends, children (and often pets) are close to their hearts. They are often Super Mom or Super Dad – and that can have both its upside and its downside, depending on how balanced it is. Understand that they are control freaks – they don’t like to be told what to do

If you want to understand them: They’re perfectionists. If not balanced, they can be extremely hard on themselves and on their family members. If they’re not happy, ain’t nobody happy! They often feel as though they’re in their game when “putting out fires and they often feel as though they places themselves on hold in order to take care of everyone else. So the more you can understand that about them, the more you might encourage them to delegate responsibilities, or at least understand the basic source of their anxiety.

A key to getting along: Allow them to organize things and yet remember to acknowledge the way in which they offer a nurturing environment. Appreciate the ways in which attempt to take care of the nuances and details. When you see that anything having to do with family has some additional zing to it for a 6 Life Path, the better off you’ll be.

If this person triggers you: Detach yourself by allowing them to be the center within the family dynamic when possible. They can become somewhat self-righteous because ultimately they’re idealists and can be disappointed when things turn out less than perfectly. If they’re challenged with their Life Path purpose and instead display as overly controlling and meddling, remind yourself that they’re doing their best – even if it drives you crazy.

When you’re engaging with a 7 Life Path:

holiday wreath numerologyThey’re elusive truth seekers – highly analytical and data-driven and yet also acutely intuitive. These folks are usually on a different wavelength than most. They can appear somewhat detached at times.

A key to getting along: Understand that they’re on a spiritual path and are truth seekers. These folks are heady and contemplative. Also understand that they need some detached “alone” time, especially during the frenetic holiday season.

Some possible issues: If they’re off balance, they can be amazingly superficial – and they can have the sharpest tongue you’ve ever experienced, so be prepared. Often these folks need to retract a bit and can have sensory-overload fairly easily. Even though they might “read” as detached or not paying attention, they are actually processing every single nuance.

If you want to understand them: Allow them be a little “woo-woo” or weird – or better yet, encourage them to open that part of themselves to you. They can over-analyze virtually everything. They are often quite caring and compassionate and want the best for you, even if you have to wade through their trust issues to get there.

If this person triggers you: Detach yourself by allowing them to be in their own little world most of the time. If they’re challenged with their Life Path purpose and instead display as superficial and caustic, remind yourself that they’re doing their best – even if it drives you crazy.

When you’re engaging with an 8 Life Path:

They think in business-like terms – time is money after all. They’re often successful in the material and financial. They’re the pillar of the community and really cares about their (and your!) appearance – both literally and figuratively. They’re here to make a mark in the world.

A key to getting along: Understand that they’re meant to be mastering the art of money, power, control, and authority. That’s a large order to fill! Know that they often avoid emotions and communicate more comfortably in business-like terms – although they are highly emotional, it is not the way in which they prefer to present themselves. Praise them for their achievements. Allow them to help you out if they offer it.

Some possible issues: They are often blunt and opinionated. Their way is often the only way – if you know what I mean. The 8 Life Path is learning all about the material world and therefore often struggles with money. If they’re off balance, they struggle with scarcity or downright poverty and can be the ultimate victim – where they feel that it’s everyone and everything else’s fault if they haven’t found achievement in their lives.

If you want to understand them: Allow them to focus on money and gifts during the holidays, as long as it’s balanced with giving. Encourage them to go have some fun and relax. They are often quite driven and focused on manifesting something – whether it is with their career or personal life.

If this person triggers you: Detach yourself by allowing them to be large and in charge. If they’re challenged with their Life Path purpose and instead display as either victims of circumstance and as overly money-focused, remind yourself that they’re doing their best – even if it drives you crazy.

When you’re engaging with a 9 Life Path:

They’re the ultimate humanitarians. They’re quite charismatic and have a giving and compassionate heart. Family is very important to them and they are givers.

A key to getting along: These folks are there to help and support you. Understand that they’re usually going to help others no matter what. The holidays bring out both joy and reflection for these folks who are working on developing a healthy balance between giving and receiving – both emotionally and in other aspects of life.

Some possible issues: They’ll never, ever ask for help, so offer support even when they act like they don’t need it. They often feel as though they carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. They can get overwhelmed and bitter about trouble in the world. They can become resentful and have problems letting go of the past. Alternately, they can present as rather myopic and self-absorbed if they struggle with their Life Path purpose.

If you want to understand them: Allow them to give to others. They’re extremely creative and want to give of themselves in every way that they can, especially during the holiday season. Appreciate the ways in which they see you and support you for exactly who you are.

If this person triggers you: Detach yourself by allowing them to give abundantly during the season. If they’re challenged with their Life Path purpose and instead display as self-centered and embittered by their past, remind yourself that they’re doing their best – even if it drives you crazy.

Understanding Your Own Life Path Number

When you know your own Life Path number you can reflect upon the ways in which you are matched (or not!) with those in your world. This is extremely useful for “getting” each other. Certainly this won’t “fix” any issues you might have or magically make any of the annoyances you find with each other disappear. Yet knowing more about what makes the people in your life tick can perhaps give you a different lens from which to view your similarities and your differences. And it can offer a way to shift your perspective and create a holiday season that allows you to feel more empowered and less likely to camp out on the therapist’s couch.

About Felicia Bender, Ph.D

Felicia Bender Ph.D – The Practical Numerologist is the author of Redesign Your Life: Using Numerology To Create the Wildly Optimal You. She’s passionate about helping people use numerology as a tool to improve their everyday lives. She’s a contributor for The Elephant Journal, The Numinous, and is resident numerologist for AstroStyle.com. See her at FeliciaBender.com.